Authored by Randy Emelo and Glenn Hughes

Mentoring Dialogues Series Introduction
The Mentoring Dialogues: How to Have Productive Conversations series has looked at 12 distinct conversations that help create a productive and engaging mentoring relationship. These conversations fall within five areas on our Mentoring Conversations Model: No Confidence, Topical Confidence, Relational Confidence, Partial Confidence, and Complete Confidence.  We now want to explore how to transform these conversations into action, which is the final installment in the series.

For a more in-depth look at the Mentoring Conversations Model, please see our September 2009 issue of Masterful Mentoring.

The Importance of Action
The measure of a productive mentoring dialogue is the resulting action that it produces. Effective mentoring increases ability or skill, with the ultimate goal of mentoring being personal or professional transformation. We should become more effective, skilled, and confident in our abilities as a result of our mentoring engagements.

The Mentoring Conversations Model (MCM) is designed to enable more productive dialogues by inspiring more action. We see the MCM as a map through which you can plot your conversations. As with a map, the MCM demands movement or action to reach your destination.

Conversation for the sake of conversation rarely leads to changed behavior. In fact, engaging conversations that do not focus on actionable change give the illusion of transformation without delivering any actual change in behavior. What ends up happening is that we embrace new concepts and begin calling old behaviors by new names. Therefore, it feels like we are making progress when in reality we are simply changing our terminology. This can cause developmental confusion; we think we are making improvements when in fact we are misapplying new concepts by layering them on old behaviors.

Discussing concepts, ideas, and possibilities is an important and valuable aspect of dialogue, but for mentoring conversations there is a need to move beyond this to include intended and anticipated actions. Simply put, mentoring conversations need to conclude in planned action. 

Failure to move conversation into action can lead to the following:

• Lack of Challenge – This occurs when there is very little actionable feedback being discussed. When there is little new action being taken, the conversation stays at a high concept level and not enough personal information is shared. These conversations are easy to engage in, but they rarely create a personally challenging environment. Transformation seldom takes place when there is little personal challenge or responsibility to act.
• Lack of Improvement – This occurs when there is a lack of personal commitment to new action. When conversations stay at the hypothetical or conceptual level and new actions are not considered, very little improvement happens. These conversations tend to skip and meander across broad topics without centering in on clear actions.
• Lack of Measure – This occurs when there is very little thought or consideration given to accomplishing new results. When nothing is measured, nothing is usually gained. If there is perceived gain, there is no way of determining if it was above or below expectations because measurable results were never projected.

Actionable Conversations
In order for mentoring to be effective, we need to engage in actionable conversations.  Ideation (generating ideas) or “acts of thought” are important and inspire high energy, but for mentoring relationships this is but the beginning of meaningful conversation. For mentoring purposes, ideas and concepts need to be followed up with actionable intent. Generative dialogue should drive toward conclusive decisions and plans for improvement. Rhetoric is not an occupation for most of us; consequently, we need to move our conversations toward creating new behaviors and experiences.

In mentoring relationships where there are productive actions being taken, you will see a pattern of behavioral striving. These actions should align with the goals and objectives of the relationship. They may not always produce effective results, but they should inspire deeper insight into what works. Actions that start out tentative and nonproductive should grow over time to become more assertive and effective. It is not uncommon to see a string of experimental acts that produce spotty results, which grow surer and more effective as time (and attempts) transpire.

Several pitfalls exist, however, that can hamper your efforts.  Typical reasons why mentoring conversations can lack adequate action, and therefore be ineffective, include:

• Lack of Ownership for Results – In pseudo-mentoring relationships, there is more focus on avoiding conversations that demand changes in action than there is on pursuing effective development. Some people engage in mentoring to get closer to those in power positions, while others are in it for the friendship aspect alone and are not interested in increasing their skill or ability.
• Lack of Intention to Act – It is easy to engage in conversations without having a desire to do something different or improve your performance. In this case, when pressed on why the planned actions were not undertaken, you are likely to hear common excuses regarding poor timing, lack of opportunity, and the like. 
• Fear of Change – It is quite natural to experience fear in the face of change, and usually the bigger the change the larger the fear that must be dealt with. Personal development involves taking actions that make us feel uncomfortable, anxious, or inadequate. These types of emotions inspire fear of change.
• Settling for Mediocrity – It is easy to perform beneath your abilities, capabilities, and talents. Many have compromised their true desires and aspirations to the point where they habitually settle for good results, when they could obtain excellent results.

Due to these pitfalls, every mentoring conversation should conclude with some sort of commitment to action. This action could be a new endeavor, plan of action, further research, mock-up, trial, or experiment.